Ramblings and Reflections

Reflections on the past weeks...and some things that don't quite connect and would classify as reamblings...


Confession time. A couple weeks ago, no lie, I asked God, pleaded with Him, for a break. We had just came off the whole head lice "trauma", and I was totally overwhelmed. Lord, please give me a break!!

He did. In fact...two. Well, technically one's only a fracture. Not exactly what I had in mind, Lord God!

Tye graduated from Preschool a couple of weeks ago (I'll post pictures eventually!). In some ways Tye will always be my baby. Combo of the fact that he was my last child I gave birth to and that he still likes to be rocked. That in no way implies that Gabe Summer and Jaden own my heart any less. The day my "actual" baby, Jaden, graduates from Preschool will probably be a bawl fest. Anyway...so he graduated. I remember thinking at the time that I had no time to reflect on it. That going to graduation was just somewhere to go. I was proud of him, but aside from that, not emotional. I felt like I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I was so intent and concentrating on making it through each day with the kids and finding a new 'normal', that I couldn't reflect on it.



Now...I have plenty of time to reflect on it.



Before the accident I wanted to have more time to be in God's Word. I knew I should. I knew I needed it more than ever. But I didn't make the time.



Now...I have the time. Don't even need to 'make' the time. It's provided for me.



I wouldn't have chosen this path. Not even saying I like it. A couple nights ago I had a yucky headache, which seemed like insult to injury and I just cried. I was sick of it. Tired of it. I had enough. (my hubby was super sweet, btw) And I still have a long ways to go.



I believe God did NOT put that toy in my path. But He did look at the results from it, what would come from it....and He allowed it. "You intented to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish now what is being done..." Gen 50:20. He doesn't like to see me suffer, but He's the master at bringing good from bad.

Do I wish I could have avoided this. You betcha. Of course. Yep.

Do I hope to learn whatever God has in store for me? Do I hope in the end it will bring good things for our family. YES YES YES!!

At times I'm starting to feel Svanna, Gabe and Summer pulling away from me. Like we've lost some ground attatchment-wise. It makes me sad. Someone else besides me is providing for them, spending time with them. But God is in control, and I rest in that fact.

Some ramblings...

I'm still pretty much stuck in bed. Whenever I sit on the couch or at the table, if my heart is above my foot a little...it swells. Swelling can inhibit healing, so I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible!! Although Tye and Sierra have their dance recital this weekend, and I'm bound and determined to go! Swelling or no swelling. Pain or no pain.

I was having a little more pain up until yesterday. Let's back-track. Most of the time I've been home my pain has been very low. Praise the Lord!! Yipee!! But does need to be managed with meds. I think I've mentioned before that I switched daytime meds to counteract the effects of sleeping almost all day. That helped a lot. However now the new med is also building in my system, and I'm getting more and more tired. Sunday I slept in until 10:30, and by 12:30 I was completely shot (just being in bed or on the couch) and so took another nap unti 4 pm. So yesterday I called the dr again. Also to describe some weird big toe pain I've been having. And the fact that except for the ends, my toes are numb.

They suggested taking my foot out of the boot (I was reaasured that with the plates it would be hard to wrech anything from surgery by just taking it out) and taking off the ace bandage, as with the swelling it had probably gotten too tight. And wrappinng it with a looser bandage.

I'm happy to say that last night was the most pain free I've been!! Yeah!!!

However I still am numb, and by taking off the bandage discovered that the bottom of my foot is numb as well. So I'll probably be giving them a call. But I'm quite exited that the pain is down. I can take my meds less often and be more alert and awake! Yeah!!

Ball started this week and Shi, Sierra and Svanna are all involved. Svanna seems to like it, and I'm so glad! Thank goodness for Kaitlin. She's still spending all day at the house, and now hauling kids to the ball park. I think even after I'm off "bed rest" so to speak, she'll be around a lot. I'm discovering there's not much I can do on crutches!

Oh, by the way, the voting is now pretty much done. =)

I'm 36.

Thanks to those who thought I was 34, especially the person who put me at 29 (even if you were just trying to be nice). For those of you who think I'm 38, I'm going to assume it's because I'm so wise and mature...not older looking?!? LOL And for the one who put me at 41, oh come on, really? LOL Thanks for entertaining me with your votes!