Outrage

Ok, just had to post! Bear with me. Irate. Crabby. Could use worse words, that's me.

I followed a link from a blog I follow that gave some information about the orphan situation in Haiti. This site was quite informative. I'm not certain all her information is correct, and I don't agree with her on some points. But even though she is an adoptive Mom of a little boy from Haiti, she cuts the U.S. of A. some slack. Her points are things were not done correctly the first few days after the earthquake (probably with good intentions, but still not "correctly") and now the US is trying to make sure things get done the "right" way, while they are overwhelmed and understaffed. I appreciate her viewpoint. You can link to her post through this blog HERE if you'd like to read it for yourself.

She posted an anonymous comment that she almost didn't post, but then thought it possibly had a tiny bit of merit. This comment SET ME OFF, and I had to share:

"A story on NBC News tonight about a U.S. couple adopting some Haitian children really bothered me. It was pretty much a fluff and feel-good story, featuring the happy and smiling (white) couple hugging and playing with their cute-as-a-button little (black) Haitian boys, talking about how thrilled they were to finally get the children out of Haiti. They'd started adoption proceedings before the earthquake, from an earlier visit to Haiti when they had picked the kids out at an orphanage.All sort of sweet and warm-and-fuzzy sounding, until the newsreader came to the real kicker -- the boys' mother is alive, she only gave them up to the orphanage because she was too poor to feed them.And there was the American woman, waxing all emotional about how wonderful it was for the boys' mother to make such a "noble sacrifice" of giving up her children so the boys "could have a better life."That's where my head exploded. Excuse me? What the h*ll kind of f**king phony compassion is it to just swoop in and and grab up some children and haul them thousands of miles away because their mother was so impoverished that she had to give them up? Wouldn't REAL compassion be doing something for the mother so that she COULD afford to keep her own babies? These aren't puppies they're picking out from an animal shelter -- although that certainly seems like a remarkably similar paradigm as to how this couple went about "picking out" these children -- these are human beings who are being hauled away from any possible familial connection that exists in their native country. These are children who no doubt have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and possibly siblings who they will now be out of reach from for years to come. And their mother -- how is it that these smiling Americans seem to have no thought that she might be experiencing unbelievable pain at being parted from her children due to strictly economic reasons beyond her control? That her life is such h*ll that she had no hope? It's like the mother doesn't count as a human being deserving of a better life herself, so that she could keep and raise her own babies. Nope, the babies went on the market, and the happy consumers swooped in and picked up a bargain. And the kids are just so darned cute. Like puppies."

This was MY comment on her blog:

"To the anonymous commenter...I'm sorry you got that impression from the story.

However I am HORRIBLY offended. You see, although my kids are not from Haiti, my children's birth mother is still alive (to our knowledge). She gave up her rights long before we came and "picked them out" as you so un-nicely put it.

Adoption is NOT the answer to a lot of the orphan problems in the world. It's not. The solution would be to keep families together. At one point I struggled with the fact that my children's birth mom was alive and could not afford to take care of them. It stinks. I'd use a harsher word but I'd rather not. I struggled with how I could have kept them together. But the fact was, and IS...it's a done deal. She didn't "give them up" to us. We didn't ask her to. We didn't "pick them out."

She left them at the orphanage. She gave up her rights. And yes, it was heroic of her. Break her own heart completely, or watch her children suffer and possibly die. She chose the first, the heroic.

If we did not adopt our kids...if others did not adopt their kids...they would be raised in an institution.

Don't insult my kids by calling them puppies.

THAT is horrible.

And if it {the situation} affects you that much (as it should)...what are YOU doing about it? Have you given up everything you have to help those horribly hurting families? If so, then my apologies at being so rash.

To the author of the post...sorry to be so negative the first time I post on your blog! Please please hold your little guy tight and love on him, as I know you are! Blessings to you."

Ok, now I vent to you. And as I do so...I wonder...how many people think this way? Is it merely that they are truly uneducated on the subject? Mean-spirited? Have not ever been to a 3rd world country themselves? Inside feeling guilty because they haven't done anything and are lashing out?!? The last makes the most sense to me.

Also upsetting is the clarification of the (white) parents and (black) children. SO?!?!? So if they were black parents and black kids, or white parents and white kids there wouldn't be an issue?? Do you think I look at my children as puppies because they are a different race than me? Does anyone else see the INSANITY in that?!?

Yes. We ALL need to do something to end the terrible, incredible poverty and hurting in the world. I don't do enough. My guess is, you don't either.

Adoption helps kids that are orphans now. But what are we going to do to help those parents who don't know HOW they are going to keep their families together? Parents dying. Parents with no food or water.

WHAT. ARE. WE. GOING. TO. DO?

Truth be told, loving people would love to swoop in and save the day in Haiti. But that is not reality. At least not at this point.

If you haven't already done so, even if you only have $1 to give, give money to help.

Because that is all we can do at the moment.

Some reliable, wonderful agencies you can give to:

World Vision

Compassion International

Mission of Hope, Haiti (for those of you who know our friend, Renae G, this is who they work with)

And as always, above all...PRAY.